My computer is a mess. It keeps overheating like crazy and it burns like a hot kettle to the touch. I need to get a new computer. Suggestions are always welcome.
Still, today was a good day. I managed to write about eighteen pages in "Return to Eternity" (R2E). It was very good feeling to be able to get some of that story out of me and on to the page. Even as I write, more and more keeps pouring out of me. Its both beautiful and absolutely frustrating. What's worth keeping and what's worth throwing off? Its like trying to choose which one of your children you love more. It's horrible.
After getting nearly twenty pages off my chest, I spent the day with Bryan. We went out for a bit of light shopping where I finally was able to buy a new pair of shoes for my library job. I can't wait to wear them tomorrow. Afterwards we went to a farmer's market where we splurged on some fresh veggies, apple cider, homemade jams, and even a candied apple. The sites and smells of fresh vegetables, roasted meats, candied nuts, and baked breads was absolutely tantalizing. I can't wait to taste everything we bought today on my tongue.
We finished our wonderful day together watching TV while we ate Arbys. Yes, I know how inconsistent that is with buying fresh foods, but we both had a craving for curly fries.
Tomorrow is a long, opening shift at the microfilm room at Carnegie Library. Hopefully I can get a few more words out.
Friday, October 11, 2013
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Writer's Journal
It's been awhile since I've come around here to actually write. In the past year I've graduated college, wrote an amazing senior tutorial about Sherlock Holmes and queer theory, and lost my biggest supporter.
This last May I lost my beloved grandmother Donna, and a little light went out of my world. My grandmother was my staunchest supporter through the good times and always there for me in the bad times. When others laughed or yelled at me, saying I was wasting my time on daydreams, my grandmother was my defender.
So here I stand now, degree in hand, a published writer, and I no longer have my cheerleader. For a person that prides themselves on being a "wordsmithe" I am left without the words to describe my grief.
Yet, I must move on because that's what Donna would have wanted. I move on because that's what I want for myself.
I'm very focused on returning to my most passionate work, "Return to Eternity." As of late the inspiration to step back into my writing is George R.R. Martin's "A Game of Thrones." I just started reading again (College has this mean habit of giving you plenty of intellectual literacy meat but denying you brain candy in the form of pleasure reading) and I've been trying to expand my horizons by reading more non-fiction and historical narrative. But my friend and former roommate suggested I read Martin and my boyfriend got me to watch the show, I became hooked by the complexity of the characters and the storyline. I've always been a fan of fantasy writers, especially when I was in my teens. My heroes were people like Alanna the Lioness and the characters from Dragonlance (Raistlin was always my favorite). Yet, as I grew up the stories didn't feel as palpable to me anymore. Perhaps it was my growth as a reader, a writer, or even maturity, but I longed to find fantasy that wasn't fluff.
As well, being both a female reader and writer, I found many of the female characters in stories to be sterile, self centered, sexpots that go about their lives trying to capture the affections of men. That is why Alanna will always stand out to me as my childhood hero, and that is why my main character in "Return to Eternity" has red hair in tribute to Alanna. Growing up reading fiction in the 90's, I was often reminded that fantasy is often the place of male readers and male writers. I was a niche market, and had to hear this bullshit over and over again throughout my youth while reading fantasy, science fiction, and comic books. Sometimes it disheartened me, and more often it made me worry that I'd have to change my name to be "accepted" by publishers and readers.
God bless the 00's for bringing in a rash of female fantasy writers that blew up the booksellers worldwide. That's right J.K. Rowling, you saved my career as a woman writer. Now women writers can sit proudly on the bookshelves besides male writers and can share in equal success.
Now, I turn to my work once more with fresh eyes and a maturer outlook. As I return to my world of Therra, I'm realizing that my story isn't the bright world of Tortell where good are reward and evil is punished. As well, my characters need to make mistakes. I've even made mistakes in making my characters into Mary Sues.
For example, the main protagonist, Hero (a name taken from Greek mythology) was originally suppose to automatically hate Fae Namir, the antagonist. Looking upon my characters now, Hero would never hate Fae at their first meeting. Fae enters the palace as a warrior ambassador riding on her warhorse with her train of Blackguards, her own small army. Hero, who is set to become the ruler of Eternity, is a free spirited young woman that enjoys mischief and adventure. To see a woman knight holding command over men would have been thrilling to Hero. As well, the young women are only two years apart, making them much more likely to understand each other. On top of all of these things, Fae and Hero share the disdain of their courts. Fae is the illegitimate daughter of Emperor Lordesus and Hero is the "traitor's daughter". This unique meeting of young women that will later become rivals would not be met with hatred but with intrigue.
With all these things in mind, I hope to move forward once more.
This last May I lost my beloved grandmother Donna, and a little light went out of my world. My grandmother was my staunchest supporter through the good times and always there for me in the bad times. When others laughed or yelled at me, saying I was wasting my time on daydreams, my grandmother was my defender.
So here I stand now, degree in hand, a published writer, and I no longer have my cheerleader. For a person that prides themselves on being a "wordsmithe" I am left without the words to describe my grief.
Yet, I must move on because that's what Donna would have wanted. I move on because that's what I want for myself.
I'm very focused on returning to my most passionate work, "Return to Eternity." As of late the inspiration to step back into my writing is George R.R. Martin's "A Game of Thrones." I just started reading again (College has this mean habit of giving you plenty of intellectual literacy meat but denying you brain candy in the form of pleasure reading) and I've been trying to expand my horizons by reading more non-fiction and historical narrative. But my friend and former roommate suggested I read Martin and my boyfriend got me to watch the show, I became hooked by the complexity of the characters and the storyline. I've always been a fan of fantasy writers, especially when I was in my teens. My heroes were people like Alanna the Lioness and the characters from Dragonlance (Raistlin was always my favorite). Yet, as I grew up the stories didn't feel as palpable to me anymore. Perhaps it was my growth as a reader, a writer, or even maturity, but I longed to find fantasy that wasn't fluff.
As well, being both a female reader and writer, I found many of the female characters in stories to be sterile, self centered, sexpots that go about their lives trying to capture the affections of men. That is why Alanna will always stand out to me as my childhood hero, and that is why my main character in "Return to Eternity" has red hair in tribute to Alanna. Growing up reading fiction in the 90's, I was often reminded that fantasy is often the place of male readers and male writers. I was a niche market, and had to hear this bullshit over and over again throughout my youth while reading fantasy, science fiction, and comic books. Sometimes it disheartened me, and more often it made me worry that I'd have to change my name to be "accepted" by publishers and readers.
God bless the 00's for bringing in a rash of female fantasy writers that blew up the booksellers worldwide. That's right J.K. Rowling, you saved my career as a woman writer. Now women writers can sit proudly on the bookshelves besides male writers and can share in equal success.
Now, I turn to my work once more with fresh eyes and a maturer outlook. As I return to my world of Therra, I'm realizing that my story isn't the bright world of Tortell where good are reward and evil is punished. As well, my characters need to make mistakes. I've even made mistakes in making my characters into Mary Sues.
For example, the main protagonist, Hero (a name taken from Greek mythology) was originally suppose to automatically hate Fae Namir, the antagonist. Looking upon my characters now, Hero would never hate Fae at their first meeting. Fae enters the palace as a warrior ambassador riding on her warhorse with her train of Blackguards, her own small army. Hero, who is set to become the ruler of Eternity, is a free spirited young woman that enjoys mischief and adventure. To see a woman knight holding command over men would have been thrilling to Hero. As well, the young women are only two years apart, making them much more likely to understand each other. On top of all of these things, Fae and Hero share the disdain of their courts. Fae is the illegitimate daughter of Emperor Lordesus and Hero is the "traitor's daughter". This unique meeting of young women that will later become rivals would not be met with hatred but with intrigue.
With all these things in mind, I hope to move forward once more.
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